Happy Holi

One of the things we love most about living in Austin is that there is always something fun and family-friendly going on. This past Saturday we several choices, but decided to try Holi celebrations at a nearby Hindu temple.

It was advertised as a cultural event with food, dancing, and tons of games and fun for the kiddos - face painting, inflatables, and a petting zoo. But we got there... and it totally wasn't what we were expecting. There was food that smelled amazing and the dance performances were really neat. But we were disappointed with the kid selection left something to be desired. Sure, there was face painting, but most of the activities seemed aimed at older kids - ring toss, bean bag throw, archery, and other carnival-type games. There was one little bouncy house that was packed to the brim, mostly with older kids. I can only assume that the petting zoo we saw advertised was misinformation.

There was a little train, which Em (and her buddy, O, who went with us) got really excited about. "Dada... train! Dada, TRAIN!"

So we rode that and then felt like there wasn't much else to do. We were pretty bummed and started to head for the car.

But then we heard an announcement they would be handing out "powder" in ten minutes. So we decided to hang around a few more minutes to check it out.

Oh. my. gosh. Best decision ever. We had so much fun! Em was in heaven. Such bright colors! Such fun music! So many nice people! Allowed to get messy!

I was so amazed by the people there. I expected craziness where my child would get trampled or she would get powder thrown too hard or in her eyes. But everyone was so great to her. So many people kneeled down to her level and gently rubbed powder on her face or shoulders and then patiently waited for her to pick some up to smear on their faces. Everyone was so considerate and gentle.

She only looks angry because we made her stop dancing to take the photo

Guys, this was a winner. It was the most we've smiled in days. Mark your calendars to go next year, it's a blast!

In The Trenches

Mama Brain is real, folks. It started when I was pregnant and I (foolishly) thought I'd regain a functioning brain when Punkito popped out. Nope. That placenta? Made of 100% mama brain cells. So I often find myself trying to say something and stopping mid-sentence to look at Hans, scrunch my face, and ask "Word?" until we figure out which one I'm grasping for.

Why am I telling you this. Right. Get to the point, Erika. I've had a blog post itching in my brain for a while now. But I don't know how to do it. Or what it really is, for that matter. Just some thoughts I need to get out. For myself, if nothing else.

I love being a mom. It's the best thing I've ever done and I didn't know I could love anything so much. But I get a little ruffled when I hear people saying "Enjoy every minute of it, it goes so fast!"

Enjoy every minute? Seriously? Who enjoys sharing the bathroom with a toddler poking you while you try to do your business before they start playing with the plunger? Who enjoys being unable to identify the blob on your shirt as dried food, snot (not your own), or goodness knows what else? 

I'll just say it. Some days being a mom is really, really, hard. Heck, sometimes it downright sucks. Unfortunately, I feel like we have had a lot of those days lately.

What do you see in this photo? How sweet. My baby is sleeping in my arms. What you don't see is that it took her almost four hours to fall asleep. Or that there was screaming, crying, hitting, and frustration to get to this state. Or that she only slept for 30 minutes. Or that we do this twice a day. Every day. Almost without fail. And have for several months now. My child refuses to go to sleep. She is never tired. She never falls asleep anywhere, nor can she fall asleep on her own. We have tried pretty much every trick in the book (many books!), talked to our doctor, our friends, searched the internet. It's bad, guys. I think we were getting more sleep when she was a newborn. And it seems to get worse every day.

Another rare glimpse. Also, not long. But I had to document that it actually happened.

I'm not looking for pity. Or advice. Or to complain. I don't know why, really, I am putting this out there for people to pick apart or judge or whatever you may take from it. But I know that a friend recently saw a photo I posted on Instagram and remarked, "Wow, you guys do everything! And you're always having so much fun." And that raised a flag for me.

We have a lot of fun. We do. Our lives are full and wonderful. But that doesn't mean we don't have our challenges. And I wouldn't want anyone to look at what I post on Instagram or write on my blog and think that our lives are perfect and that it's nothing but smiles over here.

Still in pajamas, with my glasses, and our hair
makes us look homeless, but I live for these cuddles.

We are trying. We are in the trenches, trying to get through each day. We fight the fights and while we may not enjoy every moment, we try to enjoy as many as we can. For every tear at bedtime, there are a hundred sweet little baby kisses on my cheeks and lips and eyes throughout the day. For every pea and carrot thrown on the floor, there are sweet cuddles while we read book after book together. For every time she swats at me because she's angry, there are many times where she hears me stub my toe or snag my nail and say "ouch!" and she pokes her head around the corner to ask "Mama, o-tay?"

I'm working on perspective. A lot. That's another battle in my trench. Trying to focus on the hundreds of sweet, wonderful moments each day instead of the bigger, hard moments. It's hard and I'm not particularly good at it. But I'm trying.

I'm working on pushing through, even when I feel like I'm in a fog. I put on the smile, I go to the play dates, heck, I even put on real clothes (once in a while, I swear it happens) and go out in public. I'm trying.

So please be kind. Not just to me, but to all moms who are fighting these daily battles in the trenches. To all the mamas who sometimes feel like they are not people anymore, just moms. To all the mamas who didn't accomplish anything today except keeping themselves and their kids alive, and hopefully, fed. We may not be enjoying every moment, but we are trying. We keep trying because some day, we won't be in this place anymore. We will sleep through the night and shower every day and won't find random spots of peanut butter on our necks. I'm sure I'll miss it. But it's hard to think of that now, when it's so hard. But I keep trying. Because it's also, strangely, wonderful. And absolutely worth it.

But seriously... the kissy face helps a lot.

Book-themed birthday party

The birthday celebrations continued on Saturday with a big party for all Em's friends. Last year we went all out for her first birthday and this year I swore I'd scale back. And while I totally did... whew. Still too much. Next year: Cupcakes at the Park.

Anyway. Since Punkito is so obsessed with books, we knew that a book theme was a must.

The invite! I had a lot of fun designing this one.

Decorations were really simple. We used Emma's books next to corresponding plush characters. I was surprised how many matching pairs she had. Any books or characters we didn't have (and there were just a few) we bought and gave them to her as her birthday presents. We took the leftovers books and just set them up randomly, using some on the food table to stack on. After that, it was just a little crepe paper and we were done!

Zoo animals and her beloved Pooh

I meant to make a cap for that monkey but ran out of time. Oops! And that Little Blue Truck was dang hard to find.

Some of her favorites - Olivia, George, and Gee-aff

Ours was a brunch party and we wanted to keep it as easy as possible, but still keep with the book theme.

Where the Wild Things Are - The cake! I found the directions here and they were really easy to follow. I used a WASC cake and Swiss Meringue Buttercream (easier to decorate with).
If You Give a Dog A Donut - The BEST donut holes from our favorite local shop (KC Donut on Brodie... try it!)
Three Little Pigs - Cocktails weenies wrapped in crescent rolls. Bam! Easy peasy. I should have doubled this amount since her Uncle ate 1/3 of them by himself.
The Very Hungry Caterpillar - Rainbow fruit skewers. Ours had strawberries, cantaloupe, pineapple, green grapes, blackberries, and red grapes. These went quickly and we ended up just putting out a bowl with all the leftover fruit.
Dragons Love Tacos - Taco bar with Chuy's tortillas, scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, sour cream, cheese, salsa, tomatoes, green bell peppers, and avocado
I didn't have a book to go with the cupcakes (Chocolate Malt - my favorite recipe) but I did print out little pictures of book covers and stick them to toothpicks with double sided tape. Took too much time. Don't do it.

And I thought that a book exchange would be fun! Each kid gets to bring a book, each gets to unwrap one, and take one home! Besides, I didn't think two year olds would want to sit around watching one kid open a bunch of gifts.

We set all the gifts on the table and put stickers with numbers on each gift. Then the kids each drew a number and opened that gift.

After all the gifts were opened, they could trade if they already had that book or wanted something different. I'm not sure anyone actually traded and there were some really fun books.

Nothing makes me happier than seeing all these sweet littles playing together!

Because if you can't make silly faces with Bapa, when can you?

It's my party and I'll hide under the table and eat ice cubes if I want to

Thanks to everyone who came and helped make it a special day for our sweet girl!

Emma is TWO!

Our sweet, funny, smart, wonderful girl is TWO! I am still kind of in denial about that. How did this happen??? I did not agree to that.

We had the most wonderful time celebrating her birthday last week. Her actual birthday was Friday and we had a little family celebration - complete with her very favorite person in the world, Bapa.

We started the morning by dumping balloons in her crib and singing happy birthday. She was in heaven and didn't want to get out.

(The static was so hilarious. I couldn't stop laughing).

But we finally got her out by promising her special birthday pancakes (i.e.... regular pancakes loaded with sprinkles).

She's been working so hard on showing that she's 2 (even with a mouthful of pancakes!)

Then we hit up Loco-Motion for a little (exhausting!) fun. We've never been there before and really enjoyed it! There's an area just for littles, but of course our fearless wonder wanted to tackle all the big kid stuff. Man, she scares me.

I know this is the derp-iest face imaginable, but I just love it.

After two hours of that, it was time for a family nap.

Then we opened presents, ate homemade pizza, and all cuddled on a blow up mattress by the fire to watch Frozen for the first time. Oh, and ate birthday cake, of course!

Super excited about this tea set from Oma. I can hardly get her to stop playing with it.

I think she liked the cake. That's my girl.

She hasn't stopped singing "Let it Go" since then. Pretty sure it's going to be stuck in my head until she's 30.

Spiritual Thought: Live After the Manner of Happiness

Last Sunday was our ward conference and a member of the stake presidency taught Relief Society. The topic of her lesson was "Live After the Manner of Happiness" and we talked about what that statement means to us.

The part that stuck out to me was "after the manner" ... as in... there's a pattern to follow. The way to find happiness is not unknowable. That's why it's called the Plan of Happiness, right? So if we are feeling unhappy, we have been given a guide of things that will bring more happiness into our lives. Maybe won't cure the unhappy, but will certainly help. The ones we talked about in class were the primary answers (read scriptures, say prayers, keep the commandments, attend your meetings) and others like keeping a journal, expressing gratitude for what you have, endure with faith and hope.

It was a good lesson for where I'm at right now. A reminder that Happiness is up to me.

Choose to see the mess or see the happy. Love this printable from LostBumbleBee.

Side note: I turned to my good friend Ashley and said "My Plan of Happiness has two steps: cookies and then a nap."

Thank goodness for Girl Scouts.

Be happy, friends.

End of the 20s

Awww... so cute.

It's a little Hans!

This guy turned the big 2-9 on Friday and we tried to make the day as special as possible.

We took Daddy balloons and cookies at work. Em was so proud to have picked out the balloons by herself.

These are the BEST.

Sweet baby was so patient at dinner.

We had an amazing dinner at Jack Allen's. That key lime pie was amazing!

Helping daddy blow out the candles!

We are so lucky to have such a great guy in our lives. Happy birthday!