Fresh start

So remember that time I had a blog? I used to be pretty good at it. Not necessarily a value judgement on the content, more a statement that I actually blogged regularly.

Then baby came. Everyone told me how hard motherhood would be. I knew that, in theory. I was prepared for it. But it's been so much harder than I expected. Sometimes I look at other moms and feel like they just get it while I've struggled to climb the steep learning curve. And I wasn't just a new mom, I was a new mom juggling a full-time (albeit work-from-home) job. Blogging fell by the wayside.

At the end of last year, I was really struggling trying to make it all work. I felt like I was only doing half a job at everything I tried, just trying to get by. I wasn't giving 100 percent to my employer and I wasn't given 100 percent to my daughter. After much discussion and back and forth, Hans and I decided the best thing for our family would be for me to become a full-time stay-at-home mom.

It's been a slow exit from my job and I'm still not entirely done. Truthfully, I'm not sure I'll ever completely be done - they are gracious enough to throw me little side projects every now and then to bring in some extra money and keep my creative juices flowing. But just in the past two or three weeks, I finally feel like I can call myself a SAHM.

And it's a bit of an adjustment. I didn't really picture myself as the SAHM type (if there is such a thing!) It comes with its own set of worries, such as making ends meet and feeling the frustration that comes from not leaving the house some days, much less showering or changing out of pajamas, and not remembering the last time I had an adult conversation with someone other than Hans.

But so far, I love it. I love that on days that Little One doesn't feel so great, I can sit in the nursery and rock her and sing to her for hours and not have to panic that I'm not getting my projects done. I love being able to take her to the pool and the Children's Museum and for walks. I love watching her learn and explore. I know that at the end of my life, I will not look back and regret that I didn't work, but I would have regretted looking back and feeling like I missed my daughter's childhood. Already the time is passing too quickly and I don't want to miss a single second.

So a new chapter of life, and a new blog! It's called "Em & Me" not to exclude Hans (or any future children) but because this is about this new SAHM journey just starting - each day her and me.

I'm told I should stick to a schedule and I'm kickin' around some ideas in my muddled brain. But for sure there will be many posts about mommyhood - with special emphasis on breastfeeding, homemade food for littles, and dealing with a reflux baby. I also want a creative outlet - a chance to put my skills to good use and have a little fun. In the future I'll be setting up shop to take small orders for design projects including wedding invitations, birthday invites, Christmas cards, party packages and the like. There will also be a few design freebies to keep you interested ;)

Stay tuned!